We can all admit that nothing good comes from comparing yourself to others. Constantly seeing yourself in comparison to another person makes it very difficult to develop a firm sense of your own identity. It could also quickly become an unhealthy habit that could affect your relationship with yourself and others.
Kicking any unhealthy habit is hard, and the chances are that you will never fully commit to a comparison-free existence in your lifetime. It is just not possible. However, you can tweak your attitude.
A shift in mindset can help you reach your personal goals and help you better your self-esteem even while still comparing yourself to others.
Live according to your timeline
In large part, our upbringing and society are to blame for this idea that life is like a bunch of bananas - it has a green, ripe, and expiration date. Meaning, you need to reach specific life goals at an exact point in time (ripe), not sooner (green) or later (expiration date), or you will miss out on what life has to offer.
The dated idea that first comes love, then comes marriage, then comes baby* in the baby carriage might seem like a simple recipe for 'happiness', but what about all the exciting opportunities that happen along the way?
Comparing your timeline to another will only lead to a feeling of resentment and anxiety, and you will miss out on getting to know the real you.
Enjoy who you are
This can be exciting, but also frightening - because you need to have at least a bit of an idea who you are. Just remember that comparison will only lead you deeper into doubt and confusion and will cause you to regret what you aren’t.
The first step to taking control of your life is by assuming responsibility for your thoughts, feelings, and actions. Start by evaluating your inherent problems when comparing yourself to another. Ask yourself: What am I missing or longing for within myself and then act on it. Change what you can and find peace with the things you can't.
“Be yourself; everyone else is already taken.” ― Oscar Wilde
Embrace change
You are not your mother, father, grandmother, grandfather, etc. Their generations have come and gone. Trying to relive life in comparison to another generation will only set you backward.
Changes in our society bring about opportunities. You can choose to be no longer limited by a previous generation's ideas and expectations. You have freedom.
It's time to design your style of life! It will be an ongoing process and hopefully, you will never reach a final answer. Getting to know yourself is growth. May change be a constant part of your life.
Learn more: www.parents.co.za/byb
Disclaimer: The information contained in this communication is not to be construed as medical advice. Consult a professional on any medical or psychological concerns. The articles and blogs are posted only as opinion or ideas, and are general in nature. The administrator takes no responsibility for any action or outcome a reader may make as a result of reading a post.