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How to embrace and effectively manage your anger

Anger is labelled as a negative emotion in society. It is an intense, unwanted feeling that naturally leads us to suppress it by slapping on a grin or lash out of control in an angry outburst.

There's no doubt that anger can lead to us doing and saying things we regret, but it can also be positive in our lives if we learn to manage and express our emotions effectively. Below are a couple of reasons you should not view 'getting angry' as a negative in your life.


Anger helps define your needs


So often we put our true feelings on hold for another out of fear of conflict or hurting someone's feelings. By sweeping our feelings aside for another can lead to intense resentment and ultimately regret, because you are placing your wants and needs second.


"It is very likely when we choose to deal with anger and resentment in this way that we will feel increasingly helpless, like a victim, blaming others for what happens to us, taking little responsibility for our own lives. Just as a muscle atrophies because of lack of use, so does the ability to act in our own behalf. If we choose to maintain the unsatisfying status quo over and over again, we will have less and less ability and courage to make changes that could vastly improve the quality of our lives." - President of Gordon Training International, Linda Adams

Anger can motivate you to take action

Getting angry can lead to a feeling of freedom; a moment you release everything that's been brewing inside you. Letting go can lead to either a sense of closure or the beginning of something completely new. It can bring to light a motivation you never thought you had or be the final cut away from something that's been holding you back.


Learn to identify your core feelings


Most of the time your anger acts as a secondary emotion to a more primary "raw" emotion. To discover and effectively define this emotion can be difficult, but it can also lead to a lot of self-discovery.


It takes time and skill to be able to identify one's core emotion at the exact moment you feel your blood starting to boil - therefore, it's merely easier to label it as anger. Take time to find out what lies beneath your anger. Listen to yourself, speak to a friend, your partner, or even a professional.


Don't avoid your anger

Guess what...


You are not the first person, nor will you be the last person to get angry. It is natural to feel angry at times. It is part of being human. And if dealt with effectively, it can be healthy - nudging you towards personal growth. Don't avoid your anger, but do choose an effective way to communicate your feelings. By acknowledging your core feelings, you allow your anger to materialise and dissolve, which can lead to a wonderful sense of relief.


Getting angry is here to stay. We've yet to hear of someone who has been able to live without it. Anger can put you in touch with other emotions you might not even be aware of, allow you to feel more in control, and be the first step towards a solution for a problem. So, don't allow your anger to build up! Instead, find a way that helps you express it healthily.


Learn more: www.parents.co.za/be-your-best

Disclaimer: The information contained in this communication is not to be construed as medical advice. Consult a professional on any medical or psychological concerns. The articles and blogs are posted only as opinion or ideas, and are general in nature. The administrator takes no responsibility for any action or outcome a reader may make as a result of reading a post.


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